


Old Lives

by Rouser



Series: Ryder's Guide to the Galaxy [2]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Childhood Memories, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 21:22:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10975581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rouser/pseuds/Rouser
Summary: After a rough mission, Cora gets a chance to ask Scott more about his old life.





	Old Lives

**Author's Note:**

> Some spoilers for early in the game (Habitat 7).

“You know, someday I might be the one asking you all these questions about your personal life.”

Cora makes good on her promise.

. . .

It was a particularly rough mission.  Should’ve been simple enough.  Attack the Flophouse, flush the scavengers out.  It just didn’t run smoothly.

She finds him outside the medical bay.  She made it out of the fight relatively unscathed, except a few bumps and bruises, and a shallow cut just above her right temple.

“Lexi tells me your arm is broken,” Cora said.

Ryder looked down at his arm, currently surrounded in the bright white of a medical splint. “Yeah.  Ulnar fracture, but Lexi thinks SAM should have it alright by the end of the week.” Even though his arm aches, Scott’s glad it’s his and not hers.

“Lucky you.” Cora eyed the splint.  “You going to be alright in that thing?”

Ryder nods, chuckling slightly. “I’ve had worse.  I was a nightmare of a kid, always breaking something or another. Sara was always the careful one.”

Picking up on the depressed note in his tone, Cora shifted on her feet. “If you’re feeling up to it, I have a few reports that I need you to look over?”

Ryder’s eyes lit up, grateful for the lifeline.  “Yeah, absolutely. Bring them over to my quarters.”

“Be there in a few.”

. . .

They end up cuddling on the couch, watching the stars before they know it.  The datapad sits discarded on the coffee table, long forgotten, emitting a gentle blue glow over the nearby area.

“I don’t think I ever had the chance to ask you: what brought you to Andromeda?” Cora asked, gently running her fingertips across Ryder’s arm.

“I wasn’t happy in my old life.  I always wanted something different, more,” Ryder replied habitually.

“Seems like that’s a common theme for most of us,” Cora stated. The sound of Cora’s voice tugged at the back of Scott’s mind, pulling on a door of honesty that was bursting at the seams.

“But honestly?” The words came out a little shaky for Scott’s liking.  He had never truly said it out loud. “After Mom died … I felt alone. I didn’t handle it well. I knew I couldn’t watch as the rest of my family left too. Sara, even Dad. I didn’t  _ want _ to leave them; Sara mostly.  But for as much of a dick Dad was, he still cared about us.”

“After your mom died …” Cora trailed off, watching his face to see if she was overstepping, but Scott nodded to reassure her. “How did you … how did you deal with it?”

Scott took a deep breath. “I … worked out a lot. Hit the range a lot. Just kind of kept my distance. Didn't want to be close to anyone. What about you?”

“Just buried myself in my missions,” Cora replied, “I loved my parents, but we weren’t close. I think there was a part of them that was always afraid of me, my biotics.”

“I'm sorry, Cora,” Scott said, stroking her palm with his thumb. “I’m glad you’ve found your place here.”

“Did you ever feel that way?” Cora’s voice is so small, so timid. Ryder knows it’s the scared child buried inside Cora that is the one asking, not his brave, talented commando.

Scott paused to think, not wanting to say the wrong thing. “Not a lot of people knew about my biotics -- they weren't good, so there was no reason to share.”

A sombering look fell across Cora’s face. Disappointment. Hurt. It immediately caused Scott’s stomach to twist, spurring him on.

“I think though,” he added, “I was more scared of my biotics than anyone else was. Lexi thinks that's why they used to be so weak.”

Cora nodded in understanding. “Lexi thinks you repressed your powers?”

“Yeah.”

“So what drew them out?”

The question caught Scott by surprise. Sure, SAM was a nice steroid boost to his biotic capacity, but that wasn’t the reason why he started to use them.

“I … necessity, I guess. My dad used to say, when your back’s against the wall, use it. My biotics were always a wall, but they were one I could do something about. And …”

“And?” Cora encouraged.

“When I flunked vanguard training, I was still a damn good shot, so they sent me to be an operative. I liked being a sniper, being able to keep so much distance between me and the problem. But when I became the Pathfinder, I couldn't afford distance. I was thrown right in the middle of everything. I had to adapt.”

“Makes sense,” Cora accepted.

“Any other deep and emotional questions?” Scott asked, half teasing but half not.

Cora hummed in thought. “What do you miss about your old life?”

Scott ran his thumb over the back of her hand absentmindedly.  “I always wonder what could’ve been.  As a kid, I always wanted to be an N7.  Even though I barely had a father because of it, I still worshipped everything N7 stood for: the bravest of the brave, the smartest of the smart, the best of the best.  Sara and I, when we were younger we watched Commander Shepard receive the Star of Terra after the Skyllian Blitz. Her heroism and confidence was just … I wanted to  _ be _ that. But after Dad’s discharge .. it wasn’t in the cards.”

“I know what you mean,” Cora sympathized, “With the commandos, I felt the closest I ever had to belonging somewhere.  I always wanted to be a part of something.  But no matter how hard I tried, how strong my biotics are, I couldn’t change the fact that I’m a human, not an asari.  I still didn’t fit.”

“You talk a lot about the commandos,” Scott observed, “They must have meant a lot to you.”

“They did,” Cora responded. “Once you find a place and people that feel like home, it’s hard to let go. I tried so hard to not mess up, to not lose that.  But it … it still didn’t work out.”

Scott could hear the pain in her voice.  An old scar, but the memories of the pain not yet faded. “Hey. You’re where you’re meant to be now.  None of this could have been possible without you.  I know we’re nowhere close to being finished, but for what it’s worth, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Cora laughed softly at his words. “Flatterer.”

Scott smiled and kissed the side of her head. “I’m just honest .. but I am that too.”

“Don’t I know it,” Cora rolled her eyes.

“Cora,” Scott started, “Do you ever think about how this might have gone differently if my dad were still here running the show?”

“...I did,” Cora admitted slowly. “Often at first, but less so the more we’ve done.”

“It’s okay,” Scott said, “I do too. I mean, I hated when he told me what to do, but … he still knew his shit. At least with this stuff.”

Cora nodded in understanding. “Do you miss him?”

“Yeah,” Ryder’s voice grew softer, wounded.  “I didn’t think I would, but … I do.  He really only felt like my father once Andromeda was in the picture, but somehow, it still hurts.  I wish it could have been the fresh start we wanted for my family. I wonder if he would be proud of what we’ve done.”

“You shouldn’t doubt yourself,” Cora assured, “You’re doing better than most.”

“I hope you’re right,” Scott mumbled more to himself than to her.

They sit for awhile, staring out into the great expanse of space, each dealing with the brevity of their duty in silence.

“What was it like, growing up with Alec? You said he really didn’t feel like a father until the end.”

The question caught Scott a bit off guard.  “Uh, well … it wasn’t much of anything.  I know how much you looked up to him and respected him, but to be honest, he wasn’t really there for us as kids. He was a shit dad.”

Cora tenderly snuggled the side of her head into his neck.  “I know what you mean.  Good soldiers don’t always make good parents.”

“Were your parents’ military?” Scott asked. “I know you grew up on a cargo freighter and all, but …”

“No,” Cora stated. “But it doesn’t make it any less true.”

Scott hummed in agreement. “He loved our mom though.”

Cora had heard about Ellen before, but it was different to hear about her through Scott’s eyes.  “What was she like? Alec never talked about her.”

“Well he didn’t really talk about her to us either,” Scott said “But she loved him with everything she had.” 

Cora felt the muscles of Scott’s neck shift as he smiled. “She was kind. Warm. Smart -- she designed the biotic implants we use.  But as a mom, she was always there for us. Always pushed Sara and I to be the best we could.”

“She sounds like a wonderful woman,” Cora said. “Plus, I guess I owe her a thank you from my biotics and all.”

“I wish you could have met her,” Scott mused. “She would have loved you; so brave, and intelligent, and strong.”

Cora felt herself blush. “Hey, stop trying to change the subject.”

“Can’t blame a guy for trying,” Scott chuckled, “What else do you want to know?”

Cora hummed thoughtfully. “What was your favorite childhood memory?”

Scott smiled.  “Oh that’s easy. The night before our eighteenth birthday, Sara and I went down to this special cove out in nowhere-California, where we were living at the time.  Mom was sick by that point, but that day was a good day.  We all had birthday cake for breakfast before Sara and I set out with some friends.  Dad kept to himself in his lab most days, but even he came out for cake.”

“Alec singing happy birthday?” Cora said lightheartedly, “That’s hard to imagine.”

Scott chuckled softly. “Well it was more of a grunt than anything else.  But the cake was  _ good _ .”

“Bit of a sweet-tooth, Ryder?” Cora teased.

Scott popped his hips up against her back in response. “You could say that.”

Cora playfully slapped his good arm.  “What was it like at the cove?”

Scott tipped his head back and closed his eyes.  “We swam all afternoon.  The water so clear, so vibrantly blue … it was part of a hot water spring.  The rocks around it kept pure or something, which was rare for us to find.  It felt like a fairy tale.”

“It sounds like it too,” Cora mused.

“Sara and I started to dare each other to jump off the surrounding rocks into the water.  We kept getting higher and higher until we ran out of rocks.  So, Sara had one of our friends let her jump off his shoulders so that she could get higher than me.”

“And here I thought you were the handful,” Cora teased, “It’s a wonder you didn’t break anything.”

“Oh, I’m the easy one here, you just don’t know it yet,” Scott faked indignance. “We set up camp out on the top of the rocks.  Sara and I stayed up all night, it felt like.  The next day we both knew we were going to join the Systems Alliance.  We wanted to savor our last day on Earth, but somehow it always drew back to space.  So, we just laid on a blanket and stared out the stars.”

“What do the stars look like from Earth?” Cora asked softly.

The question took Scott aback slightly.  “Have you never been to Earth?”

Cora shook her head slightly. “The first time I ever really spent more than a few hours off the cargo freighter was when I joined the Military and shipped off to basic. There were a few missions that took us to Earth, but we were never there long.”

“Oh,” Scott acknowledged, “Being in Andromeda must seem wonderful then.”

“It is,” Cora agreed.  “I did see a lot during my time with the commandos, but we were there on a mission, not to enjoy the scenery.”

“Well seeing space from Earth is a lot different than it is here,” he explained, “Out in space everything is so much clearer.  The only way to see stars on Earth is to go far away from any city, and the light pollution.”

He paused for a minute, trying to think of a way to describe the sensation.  “It’s like … if someone laid the sky out for you on the world’s biggest piece of paper.  It’s all in front of you, but it doesn’t surround you. You feel removed from it all, but it calls to you, and you feel this desire to  _ want _ to be in it.”

Cora was soaking up his every word. Scott loved that romantic side of her; it let himself be equally indulgent in his own romantic tendencies while just chocking it up to her.  “Did you spend a lot of time on Earth?”

“Three years,” Scott totaled, “Two years when we were little, like six or seven.  My mom worked with some implant company while she was there, but once my dad was assigned to his military attaché in the Citadel, we moved back.  Then, after Mom’s diagnosis, Dad moved the two of us back to Earth to care for her.”

“Do you …” Cora paused to yawn, “… miss it?”

“Yes and no.” Scott paused to think. “There was a lot to do.  If we could get an adrenaline high off it, we did it.  But a lot of it was just a distraction, trying to take our minds of Mom.  And we both missed the Citadel.  There’s nowhere else quite like it; it’s another world.”

Cora hummed in appreciation. “I know what you mean.  I feel like I’ve been up here so long that it would feel weird to be anywhere else.”

“Yeah…” Scott trailed off, “I wonder what it’s like there now. Six hundred years later, I can’t imagine how much has changed.”

Scott yawned as his eyelids drooped lower.  His broken arm emitted a few soft throbs. “Cora, I ...,” he paused to yawn again, “I think it’s time to head to bed.”

She mumbled something in response, but it’s clear neither of them have the energy needed to move.

“Thank you for staying tonight,” Scott mumbled into her hair, his eyes finally closed.  He wrapped his good arm around her and shifted the both of them onto their sides, with his splinted arm resting safely stretched out atop her hip.

“Of course, sweetheart.”


End file.
